Monday smile – Lawyers and their clients (Part 1)

Legal translators often discuss how to best communicate with their clients, and so when I came across these humorous descriptions of lawyers’ own clients I just couldn’t resist.

Oh yes, and taking another different perspective on things, try turning the picture to the right (from 1790) upside down. 😊

Enjoy, and have a lovely week.



Believes letters are for cowards. Has motto: “If it moves, sue it.” Once won a case (more by luck than merit) and believes the world is now his/her legal oyster. Has had sixteen previous firms of lawyers and is suing all of them. Flatters your ego to persuade you to take latest case and then reveals true colours. Advice: check indemnity insurance policy.


Requires lawyer to absorb entire life history before giving the simplest advice. Resists all attempts to short circuit recitation of irrelevant facts. Obsessive as to detail. Encyclopædic knowledge of facts of the case. Corrects lawyer’s minutest error. Client’s tedium is matched only by indignation at the delivery of bill based on time spent. Advice: delegate to eager trainee to take statement.


Believes the lawyer’s purpose in life is to overcharge for inadequate advice. Checks watch on arrival and departure. Constantly tries to catch the lawyer out. Insists on every sub-clause being explained in enormous detail and then queries any time charged for this process. Challenges any advice given by quoting contrary view of anonymous legally qualified friend. Scrutinises bill with fanaticism. Incapable of being satisfied. Advice: avoid if possible.


Part 2 follows soon, with credits… 😊

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